


Sketches and Dreams

by FugitiveArchivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, First War with Voldemort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:30:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5923144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FugitiveArchivist/pseuds/FugitiveArchivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Response to Mysid’s gay bar challenge at SBRL Glovesmack run amok. Includes Something Silk, Guinness, a Notebook</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sketches and Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Great thanks to Lassenia, the archivist over at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), for saving this one and many others by importing the works there to AO3. I had lost many of these files and was very happy when they popped up on my AO3 account.

"I never thought I'd find you in a place like this," Remus comments disbelievingly as James sits beside him. 

"I'm here looking for you," James says curtly. "Sirius is in St. Mungos, he had a run in with Regulus. He's asking for you." 

Remus is on his feet before James finishes speaking, "Is he going to be all right? What did the little berk do to him?" 

James gets up and follows him ignoring the glare of the bar tender, "He'll be fine in a few hours. The main reason he's in the hospital is that he lost a lot of blood, Reg used lacrimus on him." 

Remus doesn't even pause for a second when someone spills a pint of Guinness on James and by the time James catches him he's getting into a taxi, "Why not... take the short cut?" 

"It's a muggle pub, and this is faster than trying to hide well enough to take the short cut," Remus says glancing back. 

"So what were you doing in there anyway Remus?" James asks after a few minutes silence. 

"What one normally does in a pub James," Remus says staring out the window. 

"So you're gay then?" James asks conversationally. 

"Not to put too fine a point on it," Remus remarks coldly. "Is that a problem?" 

James chuckles, "No but it explains some things." 

"Like?" Remus asks, genuinely curious. 

"Here we are, maybe he'll calm down now," James says getting out of the taxi. 

"What do you mean calm down?" Remus asks as the two of them approach the hospital entrance. 

"He's been right upset since they brought him in. When we got him to tell us what the fuss was about he asked to speak to you, when we told him you weren't home and it'd take awhile to find you he got really upset, like he thought you might be hurt worse then he was," James explains as they make their way through the hospital. 

"Remus! Thank Godric you're okay," Sirius says as they enter the room. "Where were you?" It's soft and almost pleading. 

"Found him in a pub," James starts to say but when Sirius' attention snaps to him rather suddenly he quiets. 

"Could you leave us be a minute James?" Sirius asks quietly. 

Surprised James merely nods and leaves. Remus crosses to the chair beside Sirius' bed, "Why were you so worried about me? You're the one who was attacked." 

Sirius looks down at his bed sheets, "It's complicated." 

"I've got all the time in the world Sirius, enlighten me," Remus prompts. 

"Well you see Mother finally got the hexes off all my things I left behind and found some things about me out in the process. She told Regulus and he came to gloat over what they'd found and tell me what they were going to do with the information," Sirius continues still avoiding eye contact. 

"And that had you so worried after me why?" Remus tries again. 

Sirius takes a deep breath and raises his eyes to Remus' for a split second, "What Mother, and consequently Reg found out about me is that I've fancied, well a bit more than fancied really, you since we were in school and he told me he was going to kill you to teach me what pain really was. I figured with the element of surprise on his side he might be able to manage it, and I'm rambling." He takes a deep breath, "I don't expect it to mean anything to you, what I feel I mean, but I do hope you'll watch out for Reg, he wouldn't make a threat like that idily, he knows I'd kill him over it." 

"Sirius? Look at me a second please, I only want to say this once," Remus tells him waiting patiently. At last Sirius does as he's bid, "No one has ever snuck up on me. Not even you. Reg couldn't if I let him, I'll be fine. You worry about getting better."

‘“Thank you,” Sirius says quietly and goes to sleep. Remus takes his hand and tries to calm his racing thoughts.

After a few minutes Remus takes off his silk shirt and balls it up, laying his head on Sirius’ bed, intending to stay right there until he awakens. Unfortunately after only twenty minutes there’s a knock at the door and one of the mediwizards comes in looking hesitant. “Yes?” Remus asks softly, knowing he’s about to be asked to leave.

“You‘re Remus Lupin, the one he was asking over and over again to see?” The mediwizard asks hopefully.

“Yes I am,” Remus feels himself blushing.

“When they first brought him in he was convinced he was dying. He asked us to give this to you, he said it was yours anyway,” He hands Remus a small leather notebook.

“Thank you,” Remus takes it, turning it over slowly. It is his, it’s his sketch book from when they were in school, when he was still learning to draw, the question was how had Sirius gotten it, and why had he kept it?

The mediwizard leaves as he begins to look at the contents of the book. The first two or three dozen pages are sketches he’d done in front of the mirror, then there are ones of his friends, then a few animals, including Padfoot Prongs and Wormtail, but the last sketch, the one the spine is cracked to open to is drawn from a muggle photograph. It’s of himself and Sirius laying across one of the dorm room beds. He smiles, sets the book beside Sirius and puts his head back down.

When James comes in the next morning to pass on the news that Sirius can go home he finds them both rather soundly asleep, Sirius clutching one of Remus’ hands and Remus half in his chair half on the bed. Only when he approaches to wake them does he see the sketch book. He recognizes the picture, it’s one of many on the wall at Remus’ flat, and still it surprises him, they look so peaceful and content together like that.

So naturally he has to wake them all the faster. He whistles as one would call a dog, “Oi, Padfoot, Moony! Up you get, time to leave!”

Sirius woke first and looked in curious disbelief at the fact that Remus’ hand was still clasped within his own and that Remus’ head lay mere centimeters from his shoulder. When Remus begins to stir he looks to James, as not to be caught staring, “What was that Prongs?” 

“They‘ve asked me to get you the bloody hell out of here and I thought you‘d like that, as you certainly didn‘t want to be here yesterday so up you get,” James prompts again. 

Remus is on his feet in one graceful motion, silk shirt rumpled, but once again about his shoulders.

Sirius sits up but stops dead when his hand brushes the sketch book he blushes brightly and closes it, getting up and getting dressed without looking at the others. “I think I can get home on my own if you two want to get back to your own lives,” He offers once they’re outside.

James seems reluctant but says at last, “I should get back to Lils. I’ll see you both later I‘m sure.”

“Good bye James,” Remus tells him, realizing James has put two and two together.

“See you soon,” Sirius adds before turning his attention to Remus, “Go ahead and head back to your pub, I‘ll be fine. Just look after yourself.”

“No, if it‘s not quite a lot of trouble I think we need to talk,” Remus says evenly. “And as for the pub I don‘t think I‘ll be headed back there.”

Sirius ignores the remark about the pub, “I didn‘t think you‘d want to talk about it. I‘m feeling a bit light headed, we can talk at my flat.”

“Exactly what I had in mind,” Remus tells him as they head off. After a few steps they come upon a proper place for appration, Remus pauses and asks, “Are you feeling up to it, or should I find us a floo grate?”

“Let‘s floo, I might get sick but at least I won’t splinch myself either,” Sirius comments unhappily.

“We most certainly wouldn‘t want that,” Remus agrees in a seductive tone, “well come along then.”

After a block they come to a sleepy little apothecary that is used to people stopping in to use the floo, but Remus still smiles to the proprietress kindly, “May we use your floo?”

She smiles at him, “Of course you can.”

Remus follows Sirius into the kitchen when they reach his flat. “I thought you felt ill?”

“I do, but I figured you‘d want the safety of the kitchen table,” Sirius says sitting down. 

Remus takes a seat without a word.

Sirius sigh, “Obviously you‘re not mad so can we just pretend I kept my big mouth shut?”

“No.”

“You are angry then. Look, I can‘t be sorry for how I feel, but if it makes any difference I truly never intended to tell you. Like I said I don‘t expect you to feel anything for me, or for you to treat me any differently now that you know. Can‘t we just solider on?” Sirius asks pleadingly.

“That‘s something I just can‘t do. I can‘t behave as if nothing‘s happened. Something did. A few things actually,” Remus informs him calmly.

“You‘re not making any sense Remus.”

“Why did you keep my sketch book Sirius?” He asks calmly.

Despite his discomfort Sirius decides complete honesty is his best course, “Because the self portraits are stunning. And that one of us together… When I look at that sketch I can almost imagine that you love me.”

“You know I have the photograph that was drawn from hanging up in my flat. I always wonder if someday someone will look at it and figure it out,” Remus imparts quietly.

After a moment Sirius asks, “Figure what out?” 

“That the reason I love that picture so much is that we look so happy, so /right together/ in it. That I love looking at that picture and remembering a time when I believed it was possible you might love me just as much.”

Sirius takes a moment to process this, “Are you saying what I think you‘re saying?” 

“Well that depends entirely on what you think I‘m saying, but unless Reg got you better than the mediwizards seem to think he did you should be on the right track by now.”

“Why didn‘t you just bloody say so?” Sirius demands. 

“Last night it didn‘t seem right, I mean you were near hysterics about the possibility of Reg chasing me down, it just didn‘t feel the opportune moment, if you know what I mean,” Remus explains. “And it‘s hard to just blurt out ‘I love you’ to someone who‘s acting as if you‘ve kicked them down the stairs.”

“James mentioned he‘d found you at a pub, and you didn‘t say anything when I was pouring my heart out, I thought you were out looking for a… woman and even though I said I didn‘t want you to act any differently toward me I also didn‘t want to know that you spending time with anyone else,” Sirius explains guiltily.

“Well if I had picked a woman up in that particular pub it would have been quite a feat,” Remus says chuckling. “As James was attempting to tell you he found me in a gay bar.”

“One of those campy places where every one is decked out in make up and glitter Remus? It doesn‘t suit you,” Sirius says smiling again at last. 

“No actually it‘s a quiet place, not unlike a lot of other Muggle pubs, accept that no one there will attempt to beat your brains in for snogging another bloke as everyone is snogging another bloke. I‘d take you sometime, but I don‘t know if I could handle all the competition.” He smiles himself, “Though I might risk it at one of the others, in the interest of seeing you in make up and glitter…”

“So you do go for those fairy boys then? You‘re just full of surprises today Remus,” Sirius says with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn‘t say that, I said I‘d be intrigued to see you in glitter,” Remus counters, “It might be rather… interesting.”

“I might just have some around here…” Sirius says rather distractedly.

“I thought you still weren‘t feeling well,” Remus comments, concern outweighing all else.

“I‘m still a bit light headed, but I have a feeling that has nothing to do with being bleed like a sacrifice.”

“I‘d like more than one go with you, so maybe it‘s best if we wait until you‘ve been out of the hospital more than five hours. Or better yet you could go rest up and I‘ll promise to wear you out later.”

“Now I see why you used your powers for good in school, when you set your mind to evil you are just too talented. I‘m going to hold you to that promise.”

“You won‘t have to, I‘ll hold me to it,” Remus assures him following Sirius out of the room.

“Where are you going?” Sirius asks when Remus starts toward the door of the flat.

“If I‘m going to make good on that promise I‘ll need some sleep as well.”

“Oh, I see,” Sirius says not really bothering to mask his disappointment.

Remus doesn’t comment, just pulls out his wand and wards the door. “There, now we don‘t have to worry about being woken up by anyone.”

Sirius decides it’s best to shut up and let his insecurities be ignored as Remus climbs into bed with him and wraps himself around him, after all, what’s left to be insecure over?


End file.
